Sometimes it can feel like sending nudes is happening everywhere, especially as new technology has made it easier to take, send and share images. While it might seem like everyone is sharing nudes, research in New Zealand shows it’s less common than you might think. Although a lot of young people have been asked for nudes, only a small number have actually sent one.
We’ve put together some advice to help you if you’re thinking about sending a nude image, you’ve been asked to share a nude, you’ve received a nude or if you’ve shared a nude and something’s gone wrong.
Remember, it’s never ok to be pressured into sending something you don’t want to share. Once you send a nude it becomes a lot more difficult to control what happens to it so it’s worth thinking it through before you hit ‘send’.
What is ‘sexting’?
Sexting is another name for sending or receiving nudes. This can include:
- naked pictures or ‘nudes’
- ‘underwear shots’
- sexual or ‘dirty pics’
- sexual text messages or videos.
What are the risks?
Once you send an image to someone else it’s more difficult to control what happens to it. Sharing nudes or nearly nude pics, even in a trusted relationship, can cause issues. Some people have had their nude images shared with others as a ‘joke’, when a relationship has ended or when friends have become angry with each other. Even when sending photos or videos that “disappear” (like on Snapchat), there are ways for the other person to make a copy without you knowing – like taking a screen recording, which you won’t get a notification about. There are also situations where people blackmail others into sending more nudes, by threatening to release the original nude online if they don’t send more. It’s important that you think about these risks before you hit ‘send’.
Sharing a naked or nearly naked photo/video of someone without their permission is called image based abuse and can be a crime in NZ – even if the person sent it to you in the first place. If you’ve been sent a nude image/photo of someone else without their consent, we have advice about what you should do.
Why do people send nude images?
People send nudes for lots of reasons. These could be:
- feeling like ‘everyone else is doing it’ even if they’re not – especially if they’re exaggerating about sending photos or boasting about having them on their phone. Research in NZ shows that although a lot of young people have been asked for nudes, only a small number have actually sent one.
- going along with things you’re uncomfortable with because you’re worried about being seen as ‘not sexy’ or ‘shy’
- being bullied, threatened or blackmailed into sending pictures
- wanting someone’s approval or for someone to like you
- thinking you ‘owe’ your boyfriend or girlfriend or being made to feel guilty
- being in love with the someone and trusting them completely
- having a long distance or online relationship with someone and wanting to have a sexual relationship with them
- feeling proud of your body and wanting to share it with other people.
Before you hit ‘send’:
If you’re thinking about sending nudes to someone here are a few things that might be worth thinking about before you hit ‘send’:
Was it your idea?
It’s not okay to be pressured to send nudes. If you feel uncomfortable sharing a record of yourself, choose a way to express yourself that won’t put you at risk of major overexposure.
Where could it end up?
As soon as you send an image it becomes more difficult to control where it ends up. These days it’s easy for people to share and spread images online. Remember – someone sharing nude images of you without your consent is never your fault, but it’s important to think about the risks before you send.
Been asked for a nude, but not keen to send one?
Here are a few ideas of some funny and creative responses if you’ve been asked to share a nude image by someone. Remember, it’s not ok for someone to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do.
Shared a nude and now regretting it?
If you have sent a nude to someone and now regret it, you should contact that person and ask them to delete it. The quicker you ask them to do this the better. It can be difficult to control what someone does with an image once they have it but having an honest conversation about it can help stop it from being sent on.
If you’re feeling worried or stressed about having shared a nude you should talk to someone about it. This could be your mum, dad, carer, a school teacher, Netsafe or another youth organisation such as Youthline.
Been sent a nude image you didn’t ask for?
Being sent a nude image which you didn’t ask for can be upsetting. Talking to someone about the message you were sent can help the situation. This is especially important if you’re under 18 or if the person is much older than you.
You can also report the content or block the person from contacting you again. This will stop them from sending you more inappropriate pictures.
People aren’t always honest about who they are online. If you’ve received a sexual message (including a nude image, a sexual email or text message, or a sexual video) or a message that makes you uncomfortable, try talking to an adult you trust. If you’ve been sent a nude image/photo of someone else without their consent, we have advice about what you should do.
Sharing isn’t always caring:
Sharing intimate or nude pictures of someone else without their consent is called image based abuse can be a crime in New Zealand. If someone sends you a nude of themselves or someone else, delete it to make sure that it can’t be on-shared and definitely don’t share it or show it to anyone else. Think about how that person might feel if someone else saw it or if you were the person whose photo was shared.
If things go wrong:
If someone has shared a nude or nearly nude image or video of you without your consent, there are things that you can do:
- Screenshot the content if possible and make a record of the links to the page (the URLs)
- Report the content to the platform it’s on to request the content is removed (e.g. Facebook, Snapchat, PornHub etc).
- Report the profile or account of the person who shared the content to the platform (e.g. Facebook, Snapchat, PornHub etc).
- Contact us to find out what other options are available to you – Text ‘Netsafe’ to 4282, call 0508 NETSAFE, email [email protected] or visit www.netsafe.org.nz/report
We can assist you in getting content removed from some places online and talk to you about the other options available to you – for example, taking the case to the Police. If someone is threatening to share nude images/videos of you or blackmailing you, we can also let you know what you can do about it. Our team talks to people in situations like this everyday, so we’re used to talking about it and can provide you all the information you need.
There are apps that can help too, like Take it Down takeitdown.ncmec.org
This is an anonymous tool for anyone under 18 to get your intimate image or video removed from social media, including Facebook.
You don’t need to send the image to any moderators, it all works from your own device (with the original image) to track and remove the photo or video online.
Over 18’s can get help too. Stop NCII works in the same way as Take it Down and is a free service you can access at www.stopncii.org
Need help or advice? Contact us.
- Text ‘Netsafe’ to 4282
- Email [email protected]
- Call us toll free on 0508 NETSAFE (0508 638 723)
- Online report form at netsafe.org.nz/report
Our helpline is open from 8am – 8pm Monday to Friday and 9am – 5pm on weekends.