Relationship red flags

What's a red flag?

Relationships are complex and sometimes it can be hard to know if what the person you are dating is doing are normal relationship behaviours. If you’re worried, this advice may help.

Here are some examples of actions that are never okay to do to someone you’re dating or in a relationship with:

• Messaging mean things and make a partner feel bad about themselves
• Threatening harm or embarrassment to get what you want
• Reading private texts or emails without consent
• Spying on or monitoring a partner's digital devices and social networks
• Expecting a partner to check in constantly (this could be via text or social media)
• Taking and/or sharing intimate images of a partner without consent
• Creating fake accounts to send messages to a partner or their friends and family

Relationship break-ups and online content

If things don’t work out, it’s important to think about what content an ex-partner has access to and what you need to update to keep yourself safe.

What to do if things don't work out

1. Change your passwords

It’s not uncommon for people to share their passwords or other security information with their partner. If you break up it’s important to think about whether your ex-partner has access to any of your accounts. It’s a good idea to change the passwords and security questions to all of your accounts, just to be safe.

2. Privacy settings

If you’ve gone through a break-up make sure you check your privacy settings and make sure they are up to date. It’s important you know who you are sharing your information with online so you can keep yourself safe.

3. Location sharing

A lot of apps allow people to share their location with friends and family. Make sure you’re not still sharing this information with your ex-partner. Examples of some apps that may be sharing your location include Snap Map, Nearby Friends on Facebook, Find my iPhone and location sharing on Apple and Android devices.

4. Intimate content

If you’ve shared nude images with your ex-partner it might be a good idea to contact them and ask them to delete them.

If someone has shared an intimate or nude image or video of you without your consent you should contact Netsafe for help.

Report online (https://report.netsafe.org.nz/hc/en-au/requests/new)Email [email protected] (mailto:[email protected])Text 'Netsafe' to 4282 (sms:4282?body=Netsafe)Live chat support Call 0508 638 723 8am-8pm weekdays, 9am-5pm weekends (tel:0508638723)New Zealanders overseas can call +64 9 666 0840 (tel:+6496660840)